Such is Life

The Only Blog On The Internet Born Of Tabasco Sauce...

Tuesday, August 29

Rache and I are going camping. That's right, packing up our rice-a-roni and matches and...well that's pretty much all we need...but we are heading out to the fierce and magical lands of (drum roll, please) Pillager. Oh baby, oh baby. I am actually really looking forward to it because spending a couple days outside and lighting stuff of fire is always good, plus Rach and I always have good times together doing random things that make good memories. For instance, two weekends ago I was housesitting my brother's fiance's house and Rach came over to spend a night there with me. At like 2:30am we decide to call it a day, and at 3:30am I hear a small voice tentatively saying, "Julie? hey Julie? um, I kind of have a problem."

After sort of toppling down the stairs half-asleep we find that the problem is that the toilet is going psycho and won't stop. Yeah, I have no idea how toilets work and neither did she, so I did the next logical thing at 3:30 am. I slapped on a cowboy hat and started laughing loudly with Rach and making up songs about whoevenknowswhat while trying to keep water from running down the heating vent and get the toilet to stop running. We spilled a lot more nasty toilet water on ourselves and the floor in the next hour, but we successfully mastered the art of toiletry and got everything back to normal. We found some kind of disinfectant and cleaned up pretty good, but after we climbed back to our couches to sleep we just cracked up and had some good "witty banter" for a long time (though I am not sure how witty you can be at that time of day). But hey, it seemed witty at the time. It was all the cowboy hat, I swear. Another reason I am looking forward to this year.

For the first year in my life since like elementary school, I want to go back to school. I am excited to start. It seems like the end is actually in sight, which seems impossibly far away and like I'm already falling behind (in preparing for it) at the same time. It could be a great year.

Tuesday, August 22

Potent Potables for 300 please

Yes yes, I know I have been a negligent blogger for the last four weeks (my bad). Lately I have gone to the beach every night I'm free to watch the sun set from the lifeguard stand. Granted, sometimes there are really...shall we say "dramatic" teenage couples bragging about escaping the cops or stealing alcohol or whotheheckknowswhat, but sometimes it is just me (and it is always very calm). Tonight there was this couple floating and flirting about the good of society and how blondes relate to that, and then they guy started talking about how his friends think they should "take their relationship to the next level" with a nervous giggle. Excuse me while I puke off the lifeguard stand. And do you not realize that talking loudly makes it possible for everyone else to hear you? Ok, so by "everyone else" I was referring to "me," but still. It was awkward. It is not my nature to scream profanity, but seriously...

Oh and just to let you know, an exciting blog should be coming up asap...a blog you may have forgot was coming...ok, i'm done forshadowing now. I need to go do something with my life.

Monday, August 21

Where do dentists go on dates?

Maybe we should just give up on this whole blogging thing because our lives really aren't interesting enough to blog about. I got nothin', except on Friday I got my wisdom teeth out.
It was sort of funny, because I had to warn the assistant that the last time I got laughing gas, I ended up hitting on my dentist. I didn't want history to repeat itself, especially since I didn't have the infamously hot Dr. Foss (sorry Kubas... I've never even seen him.) Things went pretty well, though... I woke up and was escorted to my mom's car and ended up laying pathetically in the front seat for like 45 minutes in the Wal-Mart parking lot while she supposedly got my prescriptions.
Since then I've watched 4 movies and subsisted on fried bananas, smoothies, etc. Had I less shame and more adept Blogger skills, I would post a picture of my lovely chubby cheeks (with the eyes blacked out, of course, like they do with photos of Abu Ghraib prisoners or celebrities in rehab.)
That's all I've got. Except that I'm suddenly addicted to the movie V for Vendetta. It's good stuff- I wish I'd seen it in the theater.

Friday, August 11

Frederick! Did you see that?!

Today I went shopping at everyone's favorite place, Wal-Mart. Actually, I wasn't shopping, I was accompanying a friend of mine (an older friend) who happens to have an 11-month-old. We were pushing him around in the stroller and picking up groceries when I had a genius idea for an experiment. I took the stroller and offered to pick up the rest of the groceries while the mom shopped. I wanted to see how people would react to a teenager grocery-shopping in Wal-Mart with what they would assume is her son.
Dang. I can't believe I haven't thought of this before. People would give me the dirtiest looks... one couple even whispered as they walked by. Some would smile at the baby, then their eyes would travel upward and their faces would change at the sight of his teenaged "mom." Of course, it didn't help that I would walk past people saying things like, "Now what do we need? Mommy forgot her shopping list today." Wow. It was crazy. The older women shopping with their husbands were the worst, as far as dirty looks go.
To those who would look questionable as parents and are able to get hooked up with a baby, I would highly recommend doing this. It definitely changed my perspective, as I never realized what it would be like to be one of the people I inadvertently condemn. I don't think I'll ever look at a teenage mom the same way again. I don't condone teenage pregnancy, but I also never realized how hard it is to experience that. It's interesting, really, to look from the perspective of any kind of person who is normally looked down on in society. I have one friend who dressed up as a homeless person and begged for money on the side of the road, to see what those people experience.
This was an interesting experiment... and I hope I can try more in the future. Again, if you can, I'd totally encourage you to try something like it. It's crazy. It totally messes with how you view other people and act around them. I love it...

Wednesday, August 2

We're Back!

That's pretty much it.
This year was quite a bit different than past mission trips to Detroit, with fewer encounters with drunk/mentally ill people (remember the guy who tried to attack us with scissors, Jules?) and less time outside overall. Which is ok, considering that it was really really hot in Detroit.
Probably my favorite quote of the two weeks was, "Miss Rachel, she gonna use it on haself!!" Said by one of the little African-American girls from the projects that I was teaching. I tried to keep the spelling true to the pronounciation, but the translation for all you white Minnesotans is that "she" is going to go to the bathroom on herself. Or, if one of the kids has to go to the bathroom, they say, "I gots to use it!" Maybe you had to be there.
Overall, I think one of my absolute favorite things about Detroit is being immersed in a culture (African-American) that has a completely different language and set of traditions and social rules than your own. I miss it, actually, especially joking about it. As Mark, the big black man who taught us everything we know about black culture, says, when you make fun of the differences between the races it's like they're not there. Right after he said that he gave me a lot of crap for being the whitest one on our team. Oh, good times.
Oh, and if anyone wants to learn the Detroit hussle, as learned from two very big guys that happen to be black, let me know, I can hook you up.