Such is Life

The Only Blog On The Internet Born Of Tabasco Sauce...

Saturday, October 28

Did this blog die?

This blog needs some life. An adrenaline shot to the heart, perhaps, such as Uma Thurman receives in Pulp Fiction. Man am I tired. And I think I pronounce this blog, or at least my part in it, officially dead. I guess I don't have blogging skillz. Moral: don't overdose on heroine, mistaking it as coke.

Saturday, October 14

"The Dollar Tree Store wishes you a happy birthday!"

Wow, Friday night was so much fun. It was Beth's 18th birthday, so her mom had been planning a surprise party for a couple weeks involving a limo and nine of Beth's good friends.
We all met at Reichert and then picked Beth up at Caribou. It was an awesome way to surprise her- first the limo pulled up in front of Caribou and we waited until she noticed us, then we all stumbled out and started yelling and waving. Beth's mom gave us an itinerary of places to go, so we visited Brainerd landmarks such as the Brainerd airport, both the McDonald's and Wendy's drive-thrus, and the Westgate Mall. We also had assignments like drinking a gallon of root beer at A & W, taking pictures dressed up in cheap cowboy hats and boas, taking pictures of the people who waited on us at the drive-thrus, and buying Beth a balloon at the dollar store. We took about a million pictures and took turns standing up in the sunroof of the limo while we drove around town. We pretty much got kicked out of the Westgate Mall on our last assignment because apparently you're not supposed to take pictures there or ride the kiddy rides. The security guard even walked us back to the limo.
So it was pretty much amazing. There were all sorts of cool things inside the limo like a TV and that divider thing between the driver and the back that you can roll up and down. We put in a Jack Johnson CD and were jamming to that while we drove around.
Afterwards we hung out at Beth's house and watched movies and ate a lot of really good food.
So yeah, it's pretty awesome to drive around our lovely city of Brainerd in a limo on a Friday night. Way better than going to a movie. I hope my 18th birthday is that sweet.

me? opinionated?

My top nine likes and three dislikes, as of October 17, 9:47 pm.

1. weezer blue album (oldschool weezer)
2. bic pens (most pens, actually)
3. kettle corn
4. the color brown
5. van gogh's "the olive trees"
6. green tea ginger candles
7. "the office"
8. aloe plants
9. eating noodles with spoons

1. this butt-ugly retro phone my mother put in our kitchen
2. shrimp ramen (yeah rach, remember that nastiness?)
3. broken fingers

Thursday, October 12

Ho ho, sir surgeon...

Wow. It's been almost a week since we've posted on here. Sorry.
There's not much to blog about, though. Tuesday night I hung out with Bethie and I finally got to visit the infamous (S)lum Park. I was actually a little disappointed- I expected more meth addicts- but it was still pretty... East Brainerd-ish. Then we went to her house and drank tea. Fascinating.
Last night I played some hardcore dodgeball and got taken out by sixth-graders at least a dozen times. Definitely a blow to the ego, especially when the kids don't reach my waist.
Tonight I went into Pet North to get some fish, and I was thinking about how fun it would be to work there. Granted, it smells a little and I would probably get some interesting skin diseases (can you get leprosy from a chinchilla?), but it would be so much fun. They have some amazing snakes in there, and I imagine that when there's no customers in the store the employees have illicit cricket/cockatoo/turtle races. Dang, that would be fun. Or you could torment the kittens with the hamsters. There's just way too much possibility in a pet store.
This weekend I'm going to a little town in Wisconsin where my mom grew up. It's my absolute favorite place on earth, so you'll probably hear about it when I get back.
Quote of the day: Mick and I were talking about the heavy necklace I was wearing and I mentioned that I felt like it was strangling me. He was like, "You should wear a turtleneck sweater and a backpack some day, and then it will feel like there's a midget strangling you all day!"
I also thought it was funny that he got two letters from the U of M: one addressed to Mr. Mick B., and the other to Ms. Michele B. Ouch.

Sunday, October 8

i cause marital problems...

Friday a bunch of people went to Fergus Falls for the football game, which is in the middle of no where. Seriously, "Main Street" is a dirt road between farms. But anyway, after stopping at several small and pointless towns looking for food after the game, we got back pretty late. I rode with Morg, Stephen, and Jeff, and as soon as we got dropped off (Morg and I), I realized I left my cell phone in his car. As I'm driving Morg home, using her cell, I decided I could probly remember his number and get my phone quick. After calling someone named Neil and someone in Chicago, I got ahold of someone. Here is our "conversation" (and now it is 12:45 am):

random woman--that's right, WOMAN..definately not Jeff: "hello?"
julie: "um.....hi, I'm pretty sure I have the wrong number."
rw: "well, who are you looking for?"
julie: "no, I have the wrong number."
rw: "just who do you need?"
julie: "ah.....Jeff?"
rw: "That's my husband."

Oh awkward.

Friday, October 6

"No doubt."

I know a lot of people have been posting videos lately, but I've been looking for this one for a while and I finally found it:

Thursday, October 5

Oh, snap.

My arms are sore. Last night I played Can-Can with a bunch of sixth-graders (who are surprisingly tiny.) In Can-Can, everyone holds hands in a ring around this big barrel-shaped foam thing and tries to get everyone else to touch it. Touch the "can" or break hands with the people next to you, and you're out. Last one standing wins.
So although middle-schoolers are vicious (and hopped up on the "Q"), I would like to point out that in one of the rounds at least, the first five people out were those standing next to me. Yeah, bring it.
With a lack of anything better to blog about, I give you my top three pet peeves in the bathrooms of our beloved BHS:
  1. "Bathroom Limbo." Meaning a clump, herd, pack, gaggle, etc. of girls walks into the bathroom. One looks at the mirror and exclaims, "AHH!! My hair is AWFUL!!" Soon, a chorus of voices joins in. "You look fine. Look at how ugly my shirt is, and I'm fat!" "Oh yeah, well I didn't take a shower this morning and..." You get the picture. I call it "Bathroom Limbo" because the mentality seems to be how low your self esteem can go.
  2. Talking on your cell phone while using the bathroom. That's just wrong. Straight-up.
  3. Running into your friends. This places you in the socially awkward position of having to decide whether to stand there and carry on a conversation while they're in the stall and you're washing your hands, or pretend you didn't see them. My general rule is, the closer the friend, the longer I can talk to them in the bathroom.
Oh, and my favorite quote from please-kill-me-now econ class recently is:
"Hey! Did you know that Richard guy from Survivor is gay? I just found that out!"

unsex me, gods

So whatever compelled administrators to post these crisis line things all over, I think it's hilarious that the ORCHESTRA people are the ones who actually take them. Honestly, people. I guess they say 90% of professional musicians do drugs...we are starting early (?). Hmmmm....

I'm not going to be a professional violinist, or even play in a professional orchestra. And I am not going to be a teacher, either. Or orchestra or Engrish. I think that would be a waste of me. Not saying teachers aren't doing noble things and whatnot, but I just don't think I would be happy for very long.

So instead I'm just gonna rock out all the time . I promise, before I drive out of the Brainerd city limits never to turn around or look in my rearview mirror, I'll pocket one of those little pink slips with the crisis line phone number on it. Just in case, you see. Btw, do you like my imaginary pick?

Seriously this is just a bunch of "random musings," but that's ok. Happy Thursday night, everyone. Tomorrow is going to be amAzing. Capital A.

Tuesday, October 3

here's lookin' at you, kid

Hi blog readers, I'm sorry I've been way out of it lately. The last week has been running through the rainforest with a golfclub. Wow I suck at similes (and I want to be a writer). Wonderful. point is that it's pretty wacky (and insane). Why? I think it has something to do with getting giddy about going to college, or at least applying, being restless because it is cold and rainy--and I don't do cold and rainy (ironically I'm thinking of going to a private school in Portland), or perhaps because I went home sick today. I think I'm a little crazy when I have a fever--I went out to my car, couldn't find my keys, came back in to my locker, went back to my car, came BACK in (still keyless), and then went to the orc room in case they were there. The Orc room is my second or third home. Grant was like, "Can you drive stick?" I told him yeah, I drive it every day, and he handed me HIS car keys and told me to go home and bring his car back by 5. Are you serious?! Man, I'm going to miss him next year. He is incredible.

Fortunately some samaritan turned my keys in to Paula and so I got my own car. I drank tea and listened to music, and then went downstairs and watched Casablanca with my dog on top of me. That's a dang long movie, but I see why it's a classic.