Post #49 (Jules, you can have 50)

The best part of Friday was AP Chem. We had a sub who left the room for pretty much the whole hour, so we were bored out of our minds. Finally I got an idea and told Ryan P. that he should go draw a snake on the chalkboard. 15 minutes later, our masterpiece stretched across 3 contiguous chalkboards and included a 3-headed snake holding a flaming shark with its tail over a Weber grill. With a bowl of fruit salad on the side. I thought it was hilarious, but maybe you had to be there.
Friday night I also worked at my church's Christmas play. They decided they wanted to have a dinner theater this year, so myself and a small army of servers worked to serve 400 people from 4:30 to 10:00. It was insane and so exhausting, but really fun. We raised a lot of money for the program my church has recently joined to help the homeless in our area, so it was worth it. Although pretty sure I spilled coffee on someone's chair. And water on the table. And then picked meatballs out of the carpet.
Christmas Ball tonight... I'm sure I'll find plenty to satirize. (Thank you, Mrs. Niemi!) See y'all there.

Stop! You shattered the sausage!

Pretty sure my brother and I just had a frozen-food fight. Now that's hardcore. The fight ended with him jumping out of a cupboard and stabbing me in the side with a frozen pork loin. Good times.
Friday night I went to a random party and we watched Young Frankenstein. I love that movie. My favorite quote: "Hearts and kidneys are tinkertoys!"
I went to another random party last night and ended up acting out "bacon and eggs" and "Greyhound bus" for charades, riding those metal light-up reindeer in someone's yard, lighting a pile of brush with diesel fuel (ok, I personally didn't do that, but I watched), watching AO egg a mailbox (she missed), having sliding contests on a lake and coming up with really bad pickup lines. My personal favorite: "Are you magnetic? 'Cause I can't fight my attraction to you." Oh, and we also fought over a "herpes bottle" of sparkling grape juice. And ate puppy chow.
I think this has been the busiest weekend I've had in a while. I was supposed to be researching colleges, but I guess not.
Hopefully sometime soon I will publish "The Seven Deadly Sins of H-Link," in honor of Mrs. Niemi, but for now I don't have time to blog.

T.G.N.S.N.I.O.

That stands for "Thank God No Shave November Is Over."
Newsflash: Dr. Foss is not good-looking. Not "fine." Not even cute. Granted, I'm not sure if the guy who checked my mouth yesterday was Dr. Foss, but he certainly wasn't Dr. Baker. I'll still give him the benefit of the doubt and hold out for the man-god of oral surgery, but I'm less sure he exists now.
Partly because of that AP Lang essay prompt, I started reading Wuthering Heights the other day. Dang. This guy Heathcliff is pretty hardcore. He hangs puppies, murdered his pregnant lover (well, sort of), and has to lock his bedroom door every night because he lives with a guy who wants to kill him and carries around a pistol with a knife attached for this purpose. Oh, and he doesn't shave (or bathe). That must be the reason for all of that.
Anyway, I never knew 19th century literature was so violent. No wonder Emily Bronte had to write under a pseudonym.